No it isn’t easy knowing this thing called “Death”.

In my youth I found it illusive and mystical 

like the moon on a clear night. 

It’s not a great feeling saying you know it’s pull for some

and the fear of it, 

a gripping one for many others.
It does not seek only the fools 

or the weak.

All fall ,

when the Maker calls 

and the time comes for everyone

 when it knocks on your door. 

A mercy for some

and for the living 

a loss forever more… Death can be sweet 

in the arms of a partner

who has known you a lifetime or not. 

It could be lonely 

and painful in a clinical room

filled with machines and endless beeping. 

Nevertheless, I’m glad I’ve seen and know it,

yet I’ll never fully want to embrace it

just quite yet…

Who could when the lossing and letting go is the hardest to bear. 

When the time comes,

may it be near or far.

May i not fear it but see the endless possibilities of eternal greatness with those whom I love. 

Death will take me one day… but for now 

let me live.


Aunty Susie

Aunty Susie

That night before our last meeting
I thought of the things I wanted to say and pray for you…

A simple hymn of blessings came upon me from Him to you.

Memories of childhood with Fay and our sleepover laced with warmth memories of your care and love came to mind.

How kind and thoughtfully you shared your home and holiday trips.
Such sweet memories
I’ll always cherish.
No doubt, 
Your elegance,
And intelligence
Your lovely girls have inherited.
The hospitable love and culinary skills
they have mastered.
How proud you must be of their grace and achievements like thee.

That day, you told my mummy
That you were ready to see God but that you worry for those you love and care.

You asked
Could you spend more time with them?
Would God allow you?

As you rest Ji Kim,
May you find comfort in knowing
 they are loved as you were.
That God heard you and He will always watch over and comfort those whom you cherish and hold dear.

I’m glad we had that few hours
That you smiled and enjoyed that hymn.
Thankful to have and hold you for one more time.

Ji Kim,
Till we meet again,
Simle always and look down upon us
With your peaceful love till we meet again.

Always with love

Repeat. I’m a Creep. 


Repeat. I’m a Creep.

I love myself more
He repeats, repeats,  repeats it to me.
His words they beat me
Even though he doesn’t.

Yeah I find myself defeat
You tell me that it becomes real
That I feel like a Creep.

I tear at my soul
Sometimes I bury my soul
Maybe even try to remove all the trace of selfishness but it doesn’t help it seems.

To all you are King,
 kind wise and often prestige
Come down from your pedestal
know you may have think you have won but
Our enemy binds us at our feet
 if we continue to listen to what he speaks.

So.. Do I love myself more?
Seek your heart and see.
Even so…
Is it only for my benefit?

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He’s yours 


How do we reconcile that time is up when it comes?

How so for the young ones?
Or even old?

Faith is strong but the heart gets weak
Weight upon my heavy lids.

I get to my knees and press my fingers to his lovely cheeks.

To see his eyes gaze upon me feels like heaven on earth.

Not one could ever comprehend the full love of a mother or father.

Living the life you have you would gladly give to restore a resting child.

A wavering amber.

“Not this time. ” you say to your Maker” as he was created for you. ”

Yet so,  You willingly  surrender this child to be taken or not at the feet of that Savior even as you weep. 

Whilst I wait 

“Whilst i wait”
Whilst we in darkness struggle to find peace. 

The light that we had crucified had risen from grief. 
Whilst we had hungered, lusted and sinned. 

He took on our sin and tore it to bits. 
Whilst I sat wallowing in self pity and praise. 

Humbly bowed and affected he hung and stood in faith. 
Whilst I thought I bore the weight of the world. 

He took on that weight and crushed the darkness. 
I’m still waiting. 

And He shall come. 

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He heals 

“He wins”

Confetti falls on the victor’s head

He looks at me at that moment.

This victory is ours. 

His crown radiant in the darkness.  

The streets are filled with the demons we have defeated. 
Confetti falls like rose petals,

Gentle and sweet like His love. 

It overpowers me. 

I fall to my knees. 

Finally, I can surrender 

For the victor shoulders it all. 

Death has been trampled. 

No Fear

“No more”
I shall not fear 

Walking beside You,

 I will not fear.  
You are the banner waving over me,

cheering me on in the darkness of the night. 

Walking beside You 

I will quiver no more.  
I shall not fear 

when all around me fails.  

When the walls start to crumble,

I know you are my rock and shield. 
I shall not tremble knowing your word is a double edged sword of truth. 

Slice all my doubts oh Lord

and slay my weakness. 
How could I fear when 

Your love surrounds me. 

Pulling me closer to higher solid ground with each failure. 
Hold me tight 

And I’ll cling on to you Lord. 

For with you I shan’t ever 


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