Wondering

You came in and joined the line looking like a vision.

Dark hair.

Long sleeved shirt.

So debonair.

I smiled as I texted (it was better than shouting over the loud music)

“We never got to do this while we were together. =)”

And just like that we were transported to the past.

When you hugged me I caught that scent that had once held me captive and those hands that made me your prisioner. I’ll gladly be in chains with you again…

As the night went on, our conversations, like our friendship was seamless and candid.

I like this. This mature version of us. Free from the lies and angry possessive love we had known.

How handsome you are standing next to me, cold drink in hand. Eyes like dark pools that could drown me. I drank it all in.

When you had to leave, amidst the music, the crowd it felt right. No need to hold each other back in our busy schedules.

But as we weaved in between busy bodies and blasting music. My hand brushed yours and I caught it. It felt right and natural. Holding yours as we weaving in and out the crowd. In fact, isn’t it more pratical. We wouldn’t want you getting lost would we?

Round the bend, almost to the start of the line we came. We paused to say our goodbyes. You pulled me in and kissed me on the cheek.

Not good enough…

I pulled you in and kissed you on the lips, a farewell to linger and dream of.

You embraced me and smile and like a dream that had ended puff, gone.

It was nice.

You made me feel more attractive and special in that moment then I’ve had in years.

How queer that a simple night could evoke such sweet memories thst we had once shared.

I smiled as I enter tomorrow with that thought in mind.

Saying goodbye to my yesterday.

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Black Widow

They say 

she is a natural beauty

brown hair, eyes.

Skin so ivory.
All she sees are

cracks and pores.

Impurities and flaws

wider than the gap between her speech.
Lies and those laid

beyond her and the secrets she keeps
Laying it down as it haunts her.

Oh she tries to sleep.

Her skin crawling with unknown identities. 

They see the smile

their stepford grins

cherry pies and cream.
And longs to rip it apart

and let sink.
Don’t know what she might scheme

left to her own device

and without a single wink. 

Loaded to go…

Photo via pin interest

Mama 

🌸Dedicated to my Mummy who has been with me through it all. Blessed Mother’s Day. 妈母亲节快乐🌸
And to all mothers, godmas,grandmas and mothers to be. Blessed Mother’s Day🌹
Mama 

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I can’t remember how it felt to be born and to be in my mother’s hands that 1st time….
I can’t remember how my son or daughter smelt like when they were placed in mine. 
All I remember is feeling that I would never be the same me ever again. 
That love at 1st sight feeling is indescribable and the bond unbreakable.
Seeing my son sleep and I sneak him a whisper of love. 
Seeing my girl tossing in her crib,

I bend over and kiss her.
I’ll never love like this ever again. 
Each moment, each fear, each heartbreak of theirs forever linked mine.
Every experince in your life. 
Each love, each failure and Victories live it well and savor it. 
Be brave. Be faithful. Fight for what you believe in and always be kind. 
Be better than me and your Father. 
And always 

always 

Always…. 
I’m proud and you are loved. 
Thank you for calling me mama 

my sweet babies.

Autumn  Leaves 


Autumn on a spring morning 

white against the red 

as my lover’s kisses rain on me

as maples syrup drenched. 

Red and perfect like cherries ripening 

Delicate curls that fall on me like falling crimson leaves. “Dive with me ”

she implores “to a world we have never seen ”
and I sink 

so deep

into a world of possibilities

Monster

I wrote this thinking about people in abusive relationships as I’ve been when I was younger. It’s hard to leave that “Monster ” behind. Have courage to leave. Have courage to fight back and love and live again. Because you are worth it. .

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Monster

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Dark waters stirring the surface of the unseemly calm pond.

Waking the Monster that lies beneath it,

Hungering to surface for more. “I’m not afraid.” she says 

The lit weapon in hand.

As it emerges, she plunges 

And drove it straight with good aim. 

It sank.

Eyes slowly fading.

The hunger and lust for her 

Burning out with each breathe. “He can’t hurt me anymore.

He can’t.

He can’t .”

She whispered the mantra 

Knowing she had slay and she is safe.
Image via https://adriftondarkwaters.com/home-2/

Bullet


Even with bruises 

Worn out bodies 

A mind that won’t stop thinking 

A body that remembers 

Love is love….

When the day grows old

A rapture in time 

Strawberries kisses 

And raspberry bites 

Drown me in them….

Suddenly I’m taken 

Speechless 

Drenched in my own making 

Not wanting more 

Nor less

Just giving up to pleasure 

Unspeakable 

Spent.